There’s nothing wrong with no as an answer, but having a muddy answer can have unwanted consequences.
Are you announcing your stance with confidence?
Here’s what I mean…
I had a conversation with someone about the possibility of enrolling in her program. She very clearly stated that her intention was to help me come to a decision by the end of the call. Towards the end, when she essentially asked me if I was in or not, I had said I wasn’t sure yet. That was true, to some degree. I was interested but had a number of setbacks to consider, and also wanted to let the new information sink in and take my time to decide, even ask some friends for their intuitive sense on whether to go for it or not – I sometimes ask certain friends for blind intuitive readings. What she pointed out, however, was that my answer in this given moment is a no, and I should just be clear about it, to myself and to her.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with not having the answer yet, or in taking one’s time if the situation allows. But this lady was picking up on my tone, the energy behind my answer, which was wishy washy – lacking in decisiveness; without strength or character.
Any quality we embody has its pros and cons. The wishy-washiness was the flip-side of one of my strengths – being open minded and flexible to embrace infinite possibilities and viewpoints.
It’s true that I might have changed my mind 2 hours after speaking with her, or 2 days later. But in the moment she asked me for my answer, in that very moment, my answer was no. And I knew it. She knew it too, and helped me realize the importance of being clear and standing confidently by the choices you make and who you are in every given moment. When you are clear and confident in where you stand, you create a solid and grounded container for other people, other events and other action steps to land on. There is more power to move forward. It’s like a laser beam cutting through the fog.
When you are confident and thus relaxed in your stance, it can help those around you feel more relaxed too.
The magic lies in doing this while maintaining flexibility, the humility to listen to guidance and other possibilities, having the clarity and confidence that you may be wrong but are making the very best decision you know how in this given moment and that’s perfectly okay, and reserving the right to course-correct whenever needed.
It’s a dance of masculine and feminine. A dance of solidity and fluidity. It’s about finding balance.
How can YOU bring in more balance to your interaction with the world?